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letting go.
letting go.
I think the hardest thing in life is to let go.
let go of friendships.
let go of relationships.
let go of safety.
let go of control.
let go of personal issues.
let go of dreams.
letting go of all these things and still being yourself.
the hardest thing for me, as a single girl (in the south) at my age is to let go of relationships that are no good for me.
I can dish out dating / relationship like it's my job. because i've been the girl that got rejected many times so I can relate to so many other single girls who are going through the same thing.
but in reality, i'm just as vulnerable and heartbroken.
there is a boy. we "dated" 2 years ago. things happened. years passed. I got drunk 9 months ago and text him. we reconnected for 5 months after. things happened. we are no longer speaking. it's been two months since we last spoke/saw each other and there many points in my days where I just want that friend back. but I know he's no good...for me. he might make some girl very happy one day. but where I am in MY life and where he is in HIS do not match.
we weren't even an "official" couple, but this has been the hardest thing to let go of, in terms of relationships, that I've ever had to do. and I feel like a dumbass for that.
also...I feel like lately, i've let go of dreams of having a child. i'm about to turn 30. i'm completely single. I would like to hope I'm married by the time I'm 40 (well before, please), but what if that doesn't happen. what if i'm still single at 40...still searching for "the one"...and by then my eggs are rotten and just piles of dust in my wrinkled ovaries.
someone told me the other day "you'll be great mom one day." but what if that day never comes?
for the record...you know how people say "you'll meet the one when you least expect it"? well, I hope that place is not wal-mart. that's where I look my absolute worst.
12 comments:
haha... and just for that you'll probably meet your husband at walmart!! but thats okay, if they don't love you at your worst, they don't deserve you at your best, right?!
have a good day :)
Such a good post - and me too. I worry constantly that maybe I'll always be single. It's hard. : ( Keep on trucking, girl!
I completely get this, girl. I am 25 and I think about my future every single day! Granted, I am dating someone right now- but things are still so uncertain and even though I'd like to think they will continue there is really just no telling!
I hope and pray that you find someone and your dreams of babies and marriage and all things family come true :)
And if they dont for either one of us... let's just adopt from Africa and travel the world. At least that's my plan ;)
I love this post. It really reaches out to tons of women out there and I think would be an inspirational post for others to read too.
P.S. love the Walmart piece! :)
Isn't this just the damn truth. Thank you so much for putting your life out there for people to read. Sometimes you have to just accept that it may just be "you" and that's just got to be okay. But don't give up on your dreams. But do give up on toxic relationships. Life will work out the way it's meant to. But that doesn't change how much it might hurt at the moment. Stay strong!
http://mcmedickmonologues.blogspot.com/
You WILL be a great mom and you are probably going to have the most kids out of all of us! LOL Watch!!!!! Don't worry, God has a plan!! You know I'm a firm believer of this. Love you!
Beth! This post made me so sad. I truly didn't realize that this guy had such a grasp on you and I feel like a horrible friend for not being there for you more. Ugh... I suck!
And don't let you mind go where it's gone. You WILL find the one! He's actually out there looking for you right now. Hell, it could be my next door neighbor... Lord knows he's got super sperm and could give you kids at 45 years old even ;)
Haha you just jinxed yourself with Walmart! Jk!
I'm truing 30 in two months and feel the exact same way as you. And I've also been in the same type of relationship in the past. I think those ones are hard to let go of because they weren't official and you always wonder why - why it wasn't official and why you were in that situation.
Wow - long comment from a first-time visitor lol! Sorry!
Poor shug. Try to think positive. God really does have it under control ... and I have to remind myself of it everyday. Some people get married young, but take years to get pregnant, others get married late and still have 4 kids. I feel like my lack of one fallopian tube is just ruining my existence, (and I'll be 30 next month) but I remind myself that's silly. It's also hard for me to let go of control and the need to "fix" others' dysfunctional relationships and not allowing them to stress me out and not allowing myself to get in the middle of it. Letting go is very hard.
You are right, it is really hard to let go, but I truly believe there is a plan for everyone. Ugh and I totally agree about Walmart!!! :-)
it is so hard to let go...and I am in the same boat! Hang in there...and I too don't want to run into the man that I am meant to be with at wally world! new follower!
Lindsey
www.lifeoncountryside.com
I totally relate to this post. I'm 30, single and want more than anything to be a mom.
I won't give up on that dream though. I've changed my views and perspectives throughout my many years but that's one I'm not willing to give up. I have decided if by 35 I'm still single and childless I will take matters into my own hands.
Sometimes I think maybe that's my lot in life to give a child a home and that's why I've remained single.
However, I won't say this 'thing' called dating isn't discouraging. Don't beat yourself up too bad about being able to let go. It just means you invest yourself in relationships and give what you have to give. And that my dear is a great quality.
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