last summer trip.

today I will be riding off into the sunset (okay not really) but I will be riding/driving off to myrtle beach, sc for a long labor day weekend to soak up the last moments of summer.

 

I realize some people turn their nose up at myrtle beach. 

 

 

It's not the prettiest beach.  It's not the nicest beach.  It's not the fanciest beach.  It's not the quietest beach.

 

 

 

It has more buffetts and putt-putt golf courses per capita in probably the entire U.S.

 

but it's the beach I've gone to every year since I was born.  It's like my 2nd home.  I have so many memories there.

 

I was THIS close to going to Coastal Carolina University, but at the last minute I chose USC.

 

I had two dreams when I was younger....1) to apply to be on the real world when I turned 18 and 2) to live in myrtle beach after high school and work at Dick's Last Resort.  Neither of those are my dreams, but I can remember the way I felt about those dreams.

 

 

coconut water.

warning: the language in this post may not be suitable for some readers.

 

coconut water is gross.

 

I tried it in Punta Cana and it was warm, disgusting, water.

 

It was fresh...like I watched the local dude climb up a tree and cut it down with a machete fresh. 

 

I even added rum into it...only making it worse.

 

Rick Ross (aka my rap partner in crime) posted this photo to his instagram.

 

 

 

He claims it's "#boss"...I just think Ricky Rozay is making jokes.  You know he spewed that shizz every where after one gulp.

 

What IS #boss...is the fact that Rick Ross is pretty much the king IDGAF. 

 

 

 

I mean, check out this portrait for example...moobs and all....giving zero f*cks.

weekend.

I'm going to make this simple.

friday:

shared a pizza and several totties at mellow mushroom with friends.

walked down to my favorite bar to end the evening.

after party dancing to christmas music on pandora.

I also met a gent that night that had his OWN pandora station. I want my own pandora station.  it would just be me telling you funny jokes.

saturday:

fatty food lunch with mandy.

watching the travis tritt wheelchair video trilogy.

danced like this...

to this...

made gorditas for supper.

drove an hour/half to columbia, sc for a show.

i knew none of the bands that played, but mandy won tickets to the show and I didn't want her to have to go alone.

look up junior astronomers, all get out, death on two wheels, harrison hudson for the tunes.

got mandy to drive through some of my old hoods from college.  which was a legit drive down memory lane.

drove back home discussing music, religion, hugs, "one true loves", kisses, boys, etc. 

I also realize i'm really long winded and my stories suck.

Giveaway Winner!

Thanks to everyone who entered the Bloomin' Idiot giveaway last week.

 

The lucky winner is Sarah from Fight the Breakdown!

 

Congratulations to Sarah!

 

If you didn't win, you can purchase original Bloomin' Idiot items from the web site or the etsy shop.

 

 

Sarah please email me sweetbefblog{@}gmail.com and I'll put you in contact with Bloomin' Idiot.

I have a serious problem.

Do any of you have those people you follow on Twitter or Instagram and the majority of their posts make you want to vomit? 

But instead of just taking the easy route and unfollowing that person you continute to torture yourself?

I have that problem with Kim Kardashian.  I was able to safely unfollow her from Twitter, but for some unknown reason I still follow her on Instagram.

Here are a just a few of her latest posts with her own captions.

Dear Kim,

I get it.  You're hot.  Like super hot and you have a fat ass (but in a good way).

But when posting your pictures on Instagram let's refrain from trying to use casual captions on your professional photos.

It wasn't a "sandy beach day" or a "night swim."  Lying in the sand...near the water...at night does not a night swim make.  That's not swimming...that's simply lying on the beach trying to look sexual.

I realize "sexual" is how you got your start and I'm glad you're still sticking with that image.  It brings a lot of boys to your yard.

Also, your "Happy Sunday" picture is more of just "Fat Ass Tuesday."

As much as I should probably not follow you on social media sites I will continue to do so, therefore continuing to fuel this untalented Kardashian train that I hoped would stop soon.

XOXO,

Gossip Girl

~~~~~~~~~

Have you entered my Bloomin' Idiot Giveaway?  Still time to get in your entries!
Click Here to Enter.

friday favorites.

I'm linking up with my favorite Texan, Lindsey for Friday Favorites. (I'm on a blogging roll, anyone noticed?)

1. Lindsey is in Savannah, GA right now with her mom for a little birthday weekend.  Which is one of my favorite cities. 

If I ever find a gent to marry me and my dusty ovaries I want to go to Savannah for my bachelorette party.

 

2. My boo, Justin Timberlake has a new movie coming out in September. 

Sign Sandi and me up for our next Sandi/Beth movie date.

 

3. Christina got me hooked on this web series Casual.  I watched all 3 seasons in one day.  It's so real and raw. 

And I think I've found a new crush in Brian Thomas Smith.

4. My favorite Magic Mike gif.  I legit have this as a tab on my web browser and when I need to not look at work numbers I'll just switch and voila...instant pick me up.

 

5. Favorite Gameday Dress. 

Which is obviously not my traditional garnet and black, but Sugar is selling these cute chevron gameday dresses online and in store...more colors too!

P.S. have you checked out my fun giveaway? click here to enter!

Giveaway Time!

Well, ladies...I have a giveaway for you.

I know I teased you with this picture last week.

Do you love football?  Do you love to tailgate?  Do you usually have a beverage while you tailgate?  Well, if you answered yes to any of these questions then you're going to love what I have in store for this giveaway.

My good friend Andra, in addition to being a full-time pharmacist, also has a little business called Bloomin' Idiot Designs.

She hand makes headbands, name badges, jewelry, and her biggest hit the Bloomin' Idiot coozies.

I blogged about her little "idea" last year when she first started this venture. 

It started as an idea to raise money for an Alzheimer's Walk to help her neighbor who had been recently diagnosed with the disease. 

After Andra raised approximately $1,200 between August and October of 2011, she quickly turned her fundraising efforts into a full fledged business.

To get ready for football season, Bloomin' Idiot Designs is giving one of my blog readers a $25 credit to their Etsy shop.

It doesn't matter what team you cheer for, where you work, what classes you have, Bloomin' Idiot Designs has a great mix of colors to match whatever it is you love!

Let me mention, Bloomin' Idiot Designs also has coozies to fit those infamous Red Solo Cups.  Essential for a proper tailgate!

Take a look on Bloomin' Idiot's website or Esty shop to see what you'd like to spend your $25 on should you win!

Here's how you can enter...

Please leave a separate comment for each entry.

1st Entry: Follow my blog.

2nd Entry: Like Bloomin' Idiot Designs on Facebook {here}

3rd Entry: Follow Bloomin' Idiot Designs on Twitter {here}

4th Entry: Follow Bloomin' Idiot Designs on Pinterest {here}

Deadline for entries is midnight on Wednesday August 22 and the winner will be announced Thursday August 23!  Check back next Thursday!

Good Luck Friends!

interviews are worse than blind dates.

I've been on more interviews in my life than dates.

I can count on my hands and feet and would still need extra fingers and toes to count the amount of interviews I've had in my lifetime.

I was thinking about this the other day and with the number of interviews I've had, that also comes with some good stories.

Here are just some tid bits...

- On my first job interview, the guy that was interviewing me asked me "If I was to go out and look in your car right now would it be messy?"

- Have you ever cussed in an interview?  I have.  More specifically using the word "sh*t."  I got the job.

- During an interview, the man interviewing me told me that they had never fired anyone before except for a woman that was on drugs. Thanks for clearing that up.

- I went on an interview one time where the guy looked like he was on drugs.  He was so skinny but was wearing the biggest suit.  His "receptionist" was also watching TV at her desk on one of those old school 8" TV's.

- Have you ever called a person interviewing you by the wrong name? I have.  I almost got that job.

- I had a guy interviewing me and he said "okay" after everything I said.  Which would have been fine if his "okay" didn't sound like that of the guidance counselor on South Park.  I couldn't look at him for fear of laughing.

Last year between July and November I interviewed for 5 different jobs and talked to over 20 different people.  It was exhausting, but I got a job out of it.

I guess the moral of the story is...if you need interview advice, I'm your girl.  Or if you need to vent about your bad interview I bet I have a story to make you feel way better.

p.s. there will be a giveaway on the blog tomorrow so check back!

cleaning out my closet

If you follow me on twitter, you probably got tired of reading my #CleaningOutMyCloset tweets. 

But this did happen on a Saturday night, so most of you normal folk were probably out raising hell and didn't have time for the twitter.

I was at home for a family gathering on Saturday and my mom requested that I clean up my old bedroom.  I haven't lived at home in 6 years.  And my room is now being used as a "catch all" for crap.  Laundry, mail, unwanted furniture, dusty exercise equipment, etc.

But I love organizing/cleaning things out so I was actually pumped to tackle the beast.

I found a massive amount of treasures and I wanted to share some of those with you.  I'm sure Sandi and Mandy were annoyed with my constant texts of shizz I was pouring over.

Here is what I found...

A book on all things Hanson.  I won't discuss my former obsession with this boy-ish trio now but let me just tell you it ran deep.  Real deep.

Remember those?  RIP.





Friendship Bracelet pens?  Too bad they didn't work anymore or I totally would have brought them to work.

I found some extra wallet size photos of me as a newborn if any one wants a copy.

An indian doll with a baby on her back. #weird

I found an exercise booklet with tips on getting a flatter tummy (circa 1983).  This was in the "partner section." So sexual.

I loved this CD in 7th grade more than life itself.  My friends and I would even go so far as to elect which one of us was "crazy", "sexy", or "cool."

I also found all my old yearbooks and some old school newspapers.  I think our high school only had two newspapers issues a year...the Valentine and Graduation editions.  In the Valentine's edition, students would purchase little ads where they could write messages to their "lovers" for Valentine's Day.

I found one that Sandi received from her now husband back in 2001. 

 Sidenote: It wouldn't be until about 4 more years when they would actually begin dating.

Unfortunately, "Amos" (Sandi's hubby's nickname...still to this day) and "Stool" (still not sure who that is) were quite the players and also did a poem in the same paper for my friend Heather and myself.

I also found a jar full of my baby teeth.  File that under What. The. F*ck.

Now go clean out your closets and see what you find!



giveaway coming soon...

I have a giveaway coming your way next week.  So check back.

It will get you excited for tailgating season!

that job I had...that one time.

I loved Lindsey's link up last week so much. 

It made me realize, as in my dating life, I've got some stories to tell.

This story isn't particularly funny...but it definitely shows the road I had to take while I searched for a "career job" after college graduation.

In May of 2006, I moved out of Columbia, SC (where I went to college) and back into my mom's house. 

For 6 months, I couldn't find one single slimy job.  I was willing to do anything short of selling my body.

My dad lived in a Charlotte suburb so instead of looking for jobs near my current home I opted for applying to jobs in Charlotte instead.

I got an unpaid Public Relations internship for 3 months during the holiday season of 2006.  I loved it.  I loved Charlotte.  I thought they would offer me a full-time position at the end of my internship, but they didn't.

But I continued looking for jobs in the Charlotte area.  That led me to a job I never thought I would be doing.

You know when you're a Costco or Sam's Club or BJ's Wholesale, after you've checked out and you're walking to the exit there are annoying sales vendors asking you if you'd like to sign up for something ridiculous?  I was one of those people.

I was a "sales rep" (i'm not even sure that was my title) for a Window / Vinyl Siding / Gutter company in Charlotte.  I stood by a small kiosk and asked people if they wanted to sign up for a free consultation. 

I like to say I asked people to sign up but mostly I just stood there, smiled at people, and waited for someone to come up and ask me what I was selling.

I was in no mood to be that annoying kiosk person asking people to sign up for stuff they probably didn't want or need.

But it was by far the easiest job I've ever had.  It was 4 hours of work 3 days a week and you got a "bonus" for each person that signed up.  I usually had "atleast" 1 person sign up without much effort during each shift.

i've decided...

I've decided I don't think I'll be able to have kids.

I just can't imagine putting up with the same Hell I've given my mother over my 29 years.

Constant worry. Constant fear. Constant teaching. Constant praying.

I'm 29 years old and my mother is still teaching me things. When I was a teenager, I was the worst. I stayed out past curfew, I smoked, I drank, I went to parties every weekend, I yelled, I cussed, I screamed.

College got better but there was still underage drinking.  I still partied.

Now as an adult I still do stupid stuff and my mom is still there to help pick me back up.

I don't know what I would do without her.

I am also not sure how she still has hair on her head or hasn't shot me dead. 

Words don't even begin to describe how grateful I am to have her in my life or have her as my mother.

I'm an only child, it took 5 years of trying for my mom to finally get pregnant with me.  I should work hard every day of my life to be that daughter she always dreamed of and wanted.  I should thank her everyday for trying so hard to conceive me.  Sometimes my actions don't always say it and my words don't ever seem to be enough but I hope my mom reads this and knows I'm trying to make her proud of me every day of my life.

And I'm a true testament that being a mother is a full time job as well as the hardest job you will ever have.

Thanks Mom!

p.s. props to all the moms out there!  you're AHHHH-mazing!