phobia.

a friend and I were just texting each other about irrational fears we have.  

my fear is that whenever I turn the lights off in one room to walk to another, like down a dark hallway to my bedroom, that someone is lurking in the shadows ready to stab or shoot me in the back.

i'm 32 and still have this fear.  it's so bad that sometimes I walk backwards into my lit bedroom to make sure no one is behind me.

or the fear that someone is in my shower.  i'll pull the curtain back to check...but what if someone really WAS back there? i'm instantly killed.

or the fear that something is under my bed.  has anyone ever seen Ernest Scared Stupid? (Ernest Goes to Camp is the best "Ernest" movie by the way).  this scene forever traumatized me and if I ever need to reach under my bed, i'm convinced there will be a troll and/or murderer waiting when I come back up.

also...I NEVER let my feet hang out off the bed or out of the covers.  that would be silly...because what if the monster that is chillin' under my bed decides to tickle my feet...or pull me under.  i'm just afraid I would feel SOMETHING and then lose my mind.

do you have any irrational fears?

a new little baby love.

sandi's sweet baby charlie was born on thursday july 2nd, 2015 at 2:38 pm.

I remember the night she told me she was pregnant.  we were having dinner before our movie date to see Gone Girl...towards the end of the dinner she looks at me, reaches in her purse, and throws out this picture at me "um...look at this!" it was an ultrasound picture.  it was a complete shock. 

she told me her due date was july 8th and at that moment, she knew her dad had a hand in this and so did I.  his birthday was july 3rd.  he passed away on july 6th, 2008.  so we both knew that her dad had a part in creating this baby.  along with her late grandfather, who had the same july 3rd birthday.  

then when she found out she was having a boy and was throwing names around, charlie was one of the names...after her dad and grandfather.  no other name would do.

a few days before she was scheduled to be induced I told her I thought charlie would come out with a head full of dark, curly hair.  just like his mama and "pop pop" charlie.  well, he did.  he has the softest black baby hair that I hope never goes away.

and the sweetest cheeks just like his mama...that she inherited from her dad.  

he's perfect.  

God knew exactly what he was doing when He surprised them with this baby.

big brother cade loves him more than anything.  and it's so sweet to see him interact with his new baby brother.  

i'm excited to spoil this new baby love for the rest of my days.

and I hope sandi never stops sending me pictures like this...because I will never get tired of seeing them.

treat yo self.

for well over a year, I've been eyeing these Tory Burch sandals.  but no matter how hard I try, I can't justify spending almost $200 on a pair of shoes.  

last week, I turned 32...and with the birthday money I was gifted, I could buy a pair of those sandals that I've lusted over forever.  but I would rather stretch my money and buy lots of things.  because in the scheme of gifts...more is more.

happy birthday to me!  here's what's on my list...

my old iPad mini case is shot to hell and when I saw this Dabney Lee case at target for $20 I knew I had to have it.  

this Fallon Timberlake 2016 campaign tee was the first thing I checked off my birthday wish list.  I will wear it with such pride.  they haven't officially announced their nomination, but I have high hopes they get the majority vote.

for the past 2 years, I've bought canvas espadrilles from target. only to have them not fit properly and be awful to walk in.  but I loved them so much, I tried my hardest to get insoles, stuff tissue paper, look up YouTube videos on how to get them to fit.  I've searched for similar shoes on amazon, 6pm, and zappos and never had any luck.  I happened to peruse nordstrom rack this morning saw these Michael Antonio wedges and thank you baby jesus they had them in my size.  I will wear them with EVERYTHING the rest of summer...and spring/summers to come. 

the heat these past few weeks has been ridic and I typically don't like to sleep in shorts...i'd rather sleep in sweats, but that ain't happening when it's 95 degrees at 10pm.  so I got these light weight sleep shorts from target.

i've had this pineapple print in my etsy favorites for months...time to buy, frame, and put on display in my bedroom.  it will match perfectly with my aqua throw pillows and gold accents.

do I need a reason to buy this shirt?

like my iPad mini case, my iPhone case (that I got for $5 from target) is cracked.  so that's a great excuse to get this cute unicorn phone case from look human.

and a girl can never have enough jewelry.  love this necklace from J Crew Factory (especially since it's 40% off).

and if truth be told...i'm saving the rest of my birthday loot to buy some anti-aging cream.  not joking. gotta get started on these wrinkles some time.  so if you have recommendations on creams, serums, and/or eye de-puffers then let me know!